Pizza and Prison? EJ canceled over controversial ‘pizza and donuts’ quote
By Logan Sanford EJ Soifersmith, Director of Community Life, has received major backlash from students, faculty, and parents following the viral video that disclosed her hostile opinion on the diversity of food on campus. A leaked video, linked at the end of the article, shows EJ holding a slice of pizza and a donut, screaming… Continue reading Pizza and Prison? EJ canceled over controversial ‘pizza and donuts’ quote
Opinion: Introduce cannibalist options to Canterbury dining hall to accommodate students’ diverse diets
By Jerry Liu As diversity becomes a more important topic in daily discussions, I believe that the school should also accommodate different students with diverse dietary needs and provide them with ideal meals to satisfy their physical or mental requirements. I have begun to notice students and faculty complaining about the “all carbs” meals in… Continue reading Opinion: Introduce cannibalist options to Canterbury dining hall to accommodate students’ diverse diets
The race to deliver
By Emma Caitlin Maloney Canterbury’s favorite food delivery service, Jimmy’s Buffet, is now reported to have moved its once anonymous location to the basement of the Stones’ house due to the influx of orders he has received in recent months. Nikky Sherriff, an avid customer of Jimmy’s, is quoted saying, “My orders now take less… Continue reading The race to deliver
Canterbury School plans to replace Catholicism with Scientology as main religion
By Hanyan Cai “In accordance with Canterbury’s strategic initiative”, stated Rachel Stone, the headmaster of Canterbury school during a press release in March 2022, “we’re officially changing our religion to Scientology.” Canterbury’s Catholic heritage has been with the school ever since it was founded in 1915, so why change its religion now? We asked Canterbury’s… Continue reading Canterbury School plans to replace Catholicism with Scientology as main religion
BREAKING: Return of the Stench
By Pat O’Shaughnessy For the last month, the students of Canterbury School have been completely out of control. The faculty have tried just about everything to contain the kids, but to no avail. The students have been reported disrespecting faculty in a very creative manner coined “stink terror”. The kids have teamed up to have… Continue reading BREAKING: Return of the Stench
Canterbury rids all water from hilltop as rebel group erupts
By Lindsey Grandolfo The prestigious Canterbury School in New Milford, CT is renowned for its academic excellence, competitive athletics, and supportive, understanding community. With roughly 350 students who thrive mentally, socially, and educationally, there is not much to complain about. Who doesn’t love Sundae Sunday?! Saints seize the day during classes, practices, meals, and free… Continue reading Canterbury rids all water from hilltop as rebel group erupts
BREAKING: Sheehanites panic as C.O.’s appear in dorms
By Max Cooper According to several anonymous sources. In light of recent vandalism Dr. Lawlor, dorm head of Sheehan, has hired 24/7 correctional officers to patrol Sheehan and hopefully discourage this type of gross misconduct. Though these officers were hired for “safety,” the question still stands: is this ethical? “Not my problem lads,” says Dr.… Continue reading BREAKING: Sheehanites panic as C.O.’s appear in dorms
Canterbury students, faculty, grounds crew, dining hall staff, admissions team, student life and Head of School quit Canterbury community after Hanyan heads to college
By Abby Mitchell The whole Canterbury community is distraught after Hanyan Cai announces he will attend Vanderbilt in the fall and plans to graduate on May 27. “No one expected him to go to college. He is one of our top two students here. We thought he would stay forever,” announces Head of School Rachel… Continue reading Canterbury students, faculty, grounds crew, dining hall staff, admissions team, student life and Head of School quit Canterbury community after Hanyan heads to college
Canterbury unveils new staircase under OSH 11 window
By Ms. Draper Sources report that a new set of stairs have appeared below the north-facing window of OSH 11, for the convenience of students who are fatigued by the effort of getting to the door and wish for a more convenient mode of entry. “This is absolutely game-changing,” said student Emma Maloney. “I’m actually… Continue reading Canterbury unveils new staircase under OSH 11 window
Students’ hearing abilities force Canterbury to impose new major rule
By Maddy Samplatsky It has been known for many years now that the students of Canterbury School have significant hearing loss, but the cause has always been unknown. Up until recently, the Head of School, Rachel Stone, always disregarded the question and stated that “Absolutely nothing is wrong on this hilltop. Every student that chooses… Continue reading Students’ hearing abilities force Canterbury to impose new major rule
Mystery Solved: Gigi Esposito is responsible for cat head on Steers pathway
By Claire Kessing Last Monday it was discovered by some fellow Canterbury Saints that a cat head was laying on the Steers pathway. The Steers pathway is essential as Saints use this path as a guide from the intensely studious space called the David Casey Copley Library and the highly religiously devout D’Amour Center for… Continue reading Mystery Solved: Gigi Esposito is responsible for cat head on Steers pathway
Canterbury administration adds beanbag chair to appeal to students’ concerns
By Max Mochalov Since the construction of Steers Center, the Canterbury administration has received numerous complaints regarding the lack of student center atmosphere. Students complain that there is no place where they can spend time and socialize. Prominent student leader and sacristan Max Cooper says: “Canterbury went downhill after they built Steers. It’s literally the… Continue reading Canterbury administration adds beanbag chair to appeal to students’ concerns
BREAKING: Canterbury fires English department to cover prom costs
By Kaly Naughton Canterbury School has made the executive decision to fire the English department to cover the cost of prom after student outrage at the cost. The statement by the school read: “It is with heavy hearts that we have made the decision to let go of the English Department as a whole. It… Continue reading BREAKING: Canterbury fires English department to cover prom costs
BREAKING: Plans to install pillory between stone pillars by Aspetuck Avenue revealed
By Neil Yao The construction of two short stone pillars on the west side of Aspetuck Avenue has roused curiosity from Canterbury students since the day it began. Many believed it to be a landmark, signifying the entrance to the Canterbury School, and imagined a plaque of the school’s name and crest being ordered and… Continue reading BREAKING: Plans to install pillory between stone pillars by Aspetuck Avenue revealed
Opinion: Canterbury students are out of control and can only be stopped by a wooden stick
By Brooke Stevenson The teachers have been hearing vulgar terms come out of students’ mouths lately so the Canterbury school has enacted a popsicle talking requirement. Teachers have reported hearing horrid insults against shorter students which is completely unacceptable. A student like Emma Maloney should not be made fun of for being under 5ft. This… Continue reading Opinion: Canterbury students are out of control and can only be stopped by a wooden stick
Canterbury leaves hilltop with hopes of improving diversity
By Laurence Brady Starting next fall the Canterbury skies are going to be decorated with an abundance of sky-scrapers instead of the usual clouds and greenery. The school is extremely proud to announce that after enjoying the scenic views of New Milford Connecticut, the campus will be relocated to a place with a much more… Continue reading Canterbury leaves hilltop with hopes of improving diversity
Canterbury erases Catholic heritage in order to make co-ed dorms
By Tori Gioiele As of last Monday (5/9/22), citing less interest in Catholic practices at Canterbury, the school will no longer be associated with any religion and will simply just be a boarding school. Now you may be wondering how this affects you. Well, the only true change will be co-ed dorms. The Board of… Continue reading Canterbury erases Catholic heritage in order to make co-ed dorms
Opinion: It’s time for Canterbury school to step it up
By Liv O’Connor I’ve been a student at Canterbury for four years now. As a senior reminiscing about the great days on the hilltop, I can recall many wonderful things about Canterbury. Although one thing I do think of from time to time is why so many students here get injured. Ages 14 to 20… Continue reading Opinion: It’s time for Canterbury school to step it up
Canterbury rethinks legacy, goes all-girls
By Gigi Esposito In its 106-year long reign, Canterbury has welcomed women onto campus for only 50 of those years. The first female students stepped foot on campus in 1972, and the first female Head of School began her job in the fall of 2015. Although Canterbury School has made wonderful strides to eliminate sexism,… Continue reading Canterbury rethinks legacy, goes all-girls
BREAKING: Sheehan basement to be used as holding chamber for misbehaving students
By Gavin Long Multiple sources have confirmed the redesign and use of the abandoned and mysterious basement of Sheehan. “I never really knew what was down there, but I knew what was down there was not for my eyes to see,” 5th form student John Bagg said. “It is always dark down there, and we… Continue reading BREAKING: Sheehan basement to be used as holding chamber for misbehaving students
Opinion: We are not getting enough done
By Ella Cafiero There is a significant and annoying problem here at Canterbury and it needs to be fixed. The problem is that we do not use our time efficiently. We can have a lot more time on our hands if we did not require every single student to participate in two team sports every… Continue reading Opinion: We are not getting enough done
In order to cultivate tight-knit community, Canterbury converts individual rooms to large communal rooms
By Stephen Kershaw The Sheehan dorm was the first of all dorms to undergo the drastic internal change of creating group rooms. All of the boarders’ walls were knocked down, forming very spacious rooms. Instead of having beds in rows, bunk beds will be used to create more space to form other collaborative spaces such… Continue reading In order to cultivate tight-knit community, Canterbury converts individual rooms to large communal rooms
Canterbury announces plans to create a senior center on top of newly built Hamilton Stadium, giving seniors a place of their own
By Jerry Keefe Following Canterbury’s long-awaited Steers Center opening last year, Canterbury has decided to debut their next big project, which is set to be finished sometime in the near future. The Canterbury Senior Center is currently in the process of being constructed this summer. Although the Steers Center is currently the student center for… Continue reading Canterbury announces plans to create a senior center on top of newly built Hamilton Stadium, giving seniors a place of their own
Canterbury proposes new solution to speeding on campus: Mario Kart obstacle course
By Stella Bandak Students are tired of their low-suspension cars getting wrecked when driving through campus. Kaly Naughton ‘22 states, “They suck! They are also super-aggressive, get rid of them!”. Another student, Neil Yao ‘22, said, “We should put dragon’s teeth [used in WWII to stop tanks], which would also be more effective in stopping… Continue reading Canterbury proposes new solution to speeding on campus: Mario Kart obstacle course
The OSH Overseer 