BREAKING: Canterbury Animal Anatomy class reveals that they have been dissecting faculty animals
By Jen Castro Canterbury School, located in New Milford, Connecticut, has reached maximum controversy as the 2021-22 school year comes to a close. One of the most popular science electives offered to the community, known as Animal Anatomy, has experienced an interesting twist involving their final projects. With only one full week of school left… Continue reading BREAKING: Canterbury Animal Anatomy class reveals that they have been dissecting faculty animals
BREAKING: Mr. Omaña forgets how to speak Spanish, fired from Canterbury, now works at Primo’s Deli
By Kate Pizzano In recent news from Canterbury School, Form Dean Julio Omaña, a Canterbury veteran of over 30 years, has reportedly forgotten how to speak his first language—Spanish. His accent has disappeared and is now fully American. This news comes as a shock to many. Julio has been teaching Spanish for all of his… Continue reading BREAKING: Mr. Omaña forgets how to speak Spanish, fired from Canterbury, now works at Primo’s Deli
BREAKING: Canterbury fires English department to cover prom costs
By Kaly Naughton Canterbury School has made the executive decision to fire the English department to cover the cost of prom after student outrage at the cost. The statement by the school read: “It is with heavy hearts that we have made the decision to let go of the English Department as a whole. It… Continue reading BREAKING: Canterbury fires English department to cover prom costs
Mr. Hagen goes missing after Canterbury School finds out he is secretly teaching English in his math classes
By Erica Greene Mr. Hagen is a part of the math department at Canterbury School. He frequently spends his time at the Batcave playing poker, or so his classroom tv says. Although he was hired as a math teacher, his passion for reading has been conflicting with his math background. After rumors involving Mr. Hagen… Continue reading Mr. Hagen goes missing after Canterbury School finds out he is secretly teaching English in his math classes
Canterbury unveils new staircase under OSH 11 window
By Ms. Draper Sources report that a new set of stairs have appeared below the north-facing window of OSH 11, for the convenience of students who are fatigued by the effort of getting to the door and wish for a more convenient mode of entry. “This is absolutely game-changing,” said student Emma Maloney. “I’m actually… Continue reading Canterbury unveils new staircase under OSH 11 window
Opinion: Canterbury students are out of control and can only be stopped by a wooden stick
By Brooke Stevenson The teachers have been hearing vulgar terms come out of students’ mouths lately so the Canterbury school has enacted a popsicle talking requirement. Teachers have reported hearing horrid insults against shorter students which is completely unacceptable. A student like Emma Maloney should not be made fun of for being under 5ft. This… Continue reading Opinion: Canterbury students are out of control and can only be stopped by a wooden stick
Senior Spring? More like senior summer: Canterbury extends graduation to August 15th to prevent seniors from slacking off in the spring
By Ian Fernandes Canterbury School has recently been overwhelmed by a rebellious senior class who, despite enjoying the past 4 years here, refuse to go to classes, claiming, “these classes are making my eyeballs rot and my head itchy” (anonymous). In response to this recent outbreak of burnout, the school has decided that the root… Continue reading Senior Spring? More like senior summer: Canterbury extends graduation to August 15th to prevent seniors from slacking off in the spring
Canterbury returns to 8:00 start time after popular demand
By Alastair Ostrowski For too long, Canterbury has been pushing back the start time of the academic day. This path is on a crash course for disaster as a later start time gives students too much time in the morning and allows for students to get too much sleep, which is bad for teenagers. Luckily,… Continue reading Canterbury returns to 8:00 start time after popular demand
Opinion: We are not getting enough done
By Ella Cafiero There is a significant and annoying problem here at Canterbury and it needs to be fixed. The problem is that we do not use our time efficiently. We can have a lot more time on our hands if we did not require every single student to participate in two team sports every… Continue reading Opinion: We are not getting enough done
Student’s mother storms headmistress’s office demanding that Canterbury recognize child’s athletic achievements. In response, Canterbury will now force all students to accept participation awards even without participation
By Bella Carioscia In Friday school meetings, the sixth form council presents themselves in the front of the auditorium, fun, lively music blasts through the speakers, students trickle in with smiles on their faces ready to not only begin their favorite meeting of the week, but to start the long-awaited weekend. The meeting is routine,… Continue reading Student’s mother storms headmistress’s office demanding that Canterbury recognize child’s athletic achievements. In response, Canterbury will now force all students to accept participation awards even without participation
The OSH Overseer 