Tag: Academics

Academics, Arts & Athletics

Student’s mother storms headmistress’s office demanding that Canterbury recognize child’s athletic achievements. In response, Canterbury will now force all students to accept participation awards even without participation

By Bella Carioscia In Friday school meetings, the sixth form council presents themselves in the front of the auditorium, fun, lively music blasts through the speakers, students trickle in with smiles on their faces ready to not only begin their favorite meeting of the week, but to start the long-awaited weekend. The meeting is routine, the faculty announcements begin with a non-intriguing question that continues … Continue reading Student’s mother storms headmistress’s office demanding that Canterbury recognize child’s athletic achievements. In response, Canterbury will now force all students to accept participation awards even without participation

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Academics

Canterbury returns to 8:00 start time after popular demand

By Alastair Ostrowski For too long, Canterbury has been pushing back the start time of the academic day. This path is on a crash course for disaster as a later start time gives students too much time in the morning and allows for students to get too much sleep, which is bad for teenagers. Luckily, this has been realized by those in the administration who … Continue reading Canterbury returns to 8:00 start time after popular demand

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Academics

Senior Spring? More like senior summer: Canterbury extends graduation to August 15th to prevent seniors from slacking off in the spring

By Ian Fernandes Canterbury School has recently been overwhelmed by a rebellious senior class who, despite enjoying the past 4 years here, refuse to go to classes, claiming, “these classes are making my eyeballs rot and my head itchy” (anonymous). In response to this recent outbreak of burnout, the school has decided that the root of the problem is a common disease known as “senior … Continue reading Senior Spring? More like senior summer: Canterbury extends graduation to August 15th to prevent seniors from slacking off in the spring

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Academics, Student Life

Opinion: Canterbury students are out of control and can only be stopped by a wooden stick

By Brooke Stevenson The teachers have been hearing vulgar terms come out of students’ mouths lately so the Canterbury school has enacted a popsicle talking requirement. Teachers have reported hearing horrid insults against shorter students which is completely unacceptable. A student like Emma Maloney should not be made fun of for being under 5ft. This issue of bullying has been seen by so many faculty … Continue reading Opinion: Canterbury students are out of control and can only be stopped by a wooden stick

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Academics, BREAKING, Student Life

BREAKING: Canterbury fires English department to cover prom costs

By Kaly Naughton Canterbury School has made the executive decision to fire the English department to cover the cost of prom after student outrage at the cost. The statement by the school read: “It is with heavy hearts that we have made the decision to let go of the English Department as a whole. It was a decision that was not taken lightly, as we … Continue reading BREAKING: Canterbury fires English department to cover prom costs

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Academics, BREAKING

BREAKING: Canterbury Animal Anatomy class reveals that they have been dissecting faculty animals

By Jen Castro Canterbury School, located in New Milford, Connecticut, has reached maximum controversy as the 2021-22 school year comes to a close. One of the most popular science electives offered to the community, known as Animal Anatomy, has experienced an interesting twist involving their final projects. With only one full week of school left for sixth formers, every pupil looks forward to finishing the … Continue reading BREAKING: Canterbury Animal Anatomy class reveals that they have been dissecting faculty animals

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Academics

Mr. Hagen goes missing after Canterbury School finds out he is secretly teaching English in his math classes

By Erica Greene Mr. Hagen is a part of the math department at Canterbury School. He frequently spends his time at the Batcave playing poker, or so his classroom tv says. Although he was hired as a math teacher, his passion for reading has been conflicting with his math background. After rumors involving Mr. Hagen teaching an English curriculum in his math classes spread around … Continue reading Mr. Hagen goes missing after Canterbury School finds out he is secretly teaching English in his math classes

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Academics, BREAKING

BREAKING: Mr. Omaña forgets how to speak Spanish, fired from Canterbury, now works at Primo’s Deli

By Kate Pizzano In recent news from Canterbury School, Form Dean Julio Omaña, a Canterbury veteran of over 30 years, has reportedly forgotten how to speak his first language—Spanish. His accent has disappeared and is now fully American. This news comes as a shock to many. Julio has been teaching Spanish for all of his time working at Canterbury, and he now claims to not … Continue reading BREAKING: Mr. Omaña forgets how to speak Spanish, fired from Canterbury, now works at Primo’s Deli

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Academics, Student Life

Canterbury unveils new staircase under OSH 11 window

By Ms. Draper Sources report that a new set of stairs have appeared below the north-facing window of OSH 11, for the convenience of students who are fatigued by the effort of getting to the door and wish for a more convenient mode of entry. “This is absolutely game-changing,” said student Emma Maloney. “I’m actually a very punctual person, but Ms. Draper doesn’t know that … Continue reading Canterbury unveils new staircase under OSH 11 window

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